Trevor the Pseudo-Magical Toad

It's funny how Stargate can simultaneously be a slightly underrated movie and a vastly overrated television series.

I'm watching Conan O'Brian's show and wondering why Tears for Fears is playing a 20-year-old song and how Selma Blair could possibly be any hotter. If there was ever a reason to pay to see a John Waters movie, it's to see Selma in A Dirty Shame. Or anything else she's ever been in.

Yesterday I got some cash in the mail and realized it was my birthday. Funny how that happens. If you try real hard not to think about the fact that you're almost 30 and have no apparent future whatsoever, you can actually turn 27 or 28 and not even know it. My favorite part is skipping out on family birthday parties where you're expected. I did that last year, or the year before, I forget. It was awesome. I imagine birthday poon is pretty fucking cool, too, but I wouldn't know. I've never actually managed to hang onto a girlfriend long enough to have one during a birthday. I think.

Anyway, this is the kind of thinking that used to send me to vodkaland. Fortunately, I've evolved as a person so that I no longer think about that kind of thing until I'm already the mayor and secretary treasurer of vodkaland, where I'm more than equipped to deal with such questions.